Not your average post

I haven't made a lot of posts lately, even my last post was kind of pathetic, but I've had a lot on my mind the past several weeks and I just can't shake it so I figured I might as well write about it. I'm a little apprehensive to write about this because, well, its pretty personal and I don't really know who reads this, but that is part of what has been frustrating me lately. Not that I don't know who reads my blog, thats not frustrating, but that I feel like we have to be different people depending on who we are around or who might be watching.

Maybe its just me and not everyone feels this way, but I know that I hide parts of myself from the rest of the world or that I hide certain parts of myself from certain groups or people and I think that stinks. I think we all do it (at least I hope I'm not the only one) and I think I'm just getting tired of it. I feel like I have to pretend to be a different person than I really am sometimes because I'm afraid of what others might think about me or that they might not like that aspect of me, but I'm tired of being like that. Maybe its something that changes with age and as you get older you stop caring as much about pretenses, I'm not sure, but I wish that I could feel like people liked me for me, for who I really am and not for how I feel I'm supposed to act. I wish that people could understand my beliefs, not just religious, but also my political, social, economical, nutritional and parental (enough 'als' for ya ;) beliefs. I don't care if they agree, but I want to be able to feel like they know where I stand and are okay with it, they might not understand why I feel the way I do, but they at least respect my beliefs enough not to think I'm a crazy person.

I guess all I'm really saying is that I want everyone to know the real me. So here are a few things you may not know about me:

• We don't have a telephone. Not a cell phone or a landline. We use google voice to make phone calls and send texts to people. Most people don't even know. My computer rings at home just like a regular phone would and I can answer it just like any other phone. Text messages are the same. We got ride of our cell phones initially to save money for the summer since BYU gave us a free landline, but we liked not having them so much that we decided not to get new ones. We can afford to have them, but we just don't want them.
• I put on make-up and do my hair every day just because I like to. I also try to keep my nails painted now that I have more time at home, again just because I like it.
• We also don't have a car. Most people think that its because we are trying to save money, but that isn't true. We don't have a car because we thought that we didn't need one. Also, we had made a lot of other changes in our lives to become more eco-friendly and we thought this would be the best possible thing we could do to decrease our carbon footprints.
• I love watching The Colbert Report and tend to agree with most things that he says.
• I'm a vegan, but only at home. We don't buy anything with meat or dairy in them, but if we go to a restaurant or someones home then we try to stick to a more vegetarian diet, but we're not really strict vegans. We still eat meat or dairy sometimes, but usually its only if we don't have any other option. We haven't eaten a lot of meat for a couple years now and finally decided to go full vegan at home in August. I've done a lot of research about nutrition and I genuinely think its a healthier diet, plus its great for the environment and the animals too. 
• I love watching documentaries about political issues.
• We use cloth diapers. It was my idea because I hated the idea of sending 500+ diapers to a landfill when I could just do a little extra work and help do my part to keep the earth beautiful.
• I worked for 10 years with people with disabilities and absolutely loved it! I really really really hate it when people use the word 'retard' as a slur and it makes me want to yell at them.
• I have a bad temper that I have worked really hard over the years to get under control and I still find myself losing my temper sometimes and it makes me really sad. 
• I'm terrified to have a second child. 
• I love being a mom and some days are hard, but most days are completely wonderful and I hate when I hear other moms talking bad about their children or worse husbands. 
• I'm a little obsessed with cleaning and vacuum nearly every day. 
• I don't like chocolate chip cookies very much. I'll eat them, but I wouldn't choose them if given pretty much any other option. 
• I have a hard time trusting people, mostly because every man I ever loved or who should have loved me, either ran away or died.
• My in-laws are some of my favorite people in the whole world. 
• I feel inadequate about all things home decor when compared to my beautiful new sister-in-law, but pretend not be. She also happens to be one of the coolest people I know, which makes me a little jealous, but I'm so glad that we'll get to spend time together for pretty much the rest of eternity.
• Asparagus is one of my most favorite foods.
• I'm pretty sure I'm kindred spirits with my Hendricks Grandparents and think that they are pretty much the  bees knees. 
• I hate wreaths and photography, but mostly only because everyone else is really into them right now.
• I love being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and know that through Christ all things are possible. I know I've seen His miracles work in my own life and can't wait to see what the rest of my life holds. 

I feel like this is my coming out party, which is silly, but its still how I feel. I'm making it a new personal goal to try and be more real with others and make sure they really know where I am coming from, so hopefully this is a good start.